The Things We Wish We Didn't Want

Scripture: Titus 2:11–14 (NIV)

A little boy can explain with surprising clarity why he ought to be kind to his mother. Ten minutes later, asked to put his toys away, he's arguing, calling her names, hiding, and locking his bedroom door. It's not particularly funny for his mother. He hasn't forgotten what he knows. He simply doesn't want to do it. We may be grown, but we can recognize ourselves in him. Sometimes we know precisely what's right, yet something in us would much rather have its own way.

Paul, an early Christian leader who once persecuted followers of Jesus, was convinced he was serving God by opposing them. He later wrote to his friend Titus, who was helping people get to know Jesus. It's interesting where a conversation might take us when it turns to how we should live. “For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people” (Titus 2:11). Grace, God's undeserved kindness, was something he knew personally. Jesus had met him when he was still determined to oppose Him. If Jesus could meet someone who didn't even want to change, what might that mean for the things we struggle to stop wanting to do?

There's an intriguing thought in those words about God's grace. “It teaches us to say ‘No’ to ungodliness and worldly passions” (Titus 2:12). But how does kindness teach us to say no to something we still want? We can understand a warning, agree with it, and even follow it while wishing we didn't have to. Long before these words were written, God had promised, “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you” (Ezekiel 36:26). Could His kindness reach beyond what we do, into what we actually want?

Someone says something that irritates us, and we know how we'd like to answer back. Yet the familiar words, “A gentle answer turns away wrath” (Proverbs 15:1), may come to mind. Something unexpected happens. Instead of rehearsing our reply, we find ourselves genuinely interested in understanding what the other person meant. We listen without needing to defend ourselves. Perhaps keeping the peace matters more than winning the argument. The irritation may still be there, but the desire to have the last word isn't quite so strong. Something is changing, perhaps before we even recognize it.

There's a freedom here we might easily overlook. The things that once had such a hold on us may still appeal to us, but they don't have to keep having their way. Jesus gave Himself for us not only to release us from their grip, but to make us “eager to do what is good” (Titus 2:14). Eager. Not simply willing to do what's right, but increasingly wanting it. Could it be that the person we become as we follow Jesus isn't just someone who behaves differently, but someone whose desires are becoming different, too?

Prayer

Jesus, thank You for meeting me before I knew how much I needed to change. Help me recognize Your kindness at work in my desires, and teach me to want what is good. Amen.